How to Win Friends and Influence People

Perhaps some readers recognize the title.  How to Win Friends and Influence People is a book by Dale Carnegie where he teaches what he says in the title.  I've wanted to read this book for many, many years but when I've tried borrowing it from the library it isn't available and when I'm at the bookstore I don't remember that I want it, or I also want something else that I end up buying.  But a few days ago, after I sang in the subway for a couple of hours and went overground for a bathroom brake and food by the West 4th Street Station a street vendor was selling by the park.  It was perched on the fence railing.  "How much?"  I asked.   "Five dollars."  "Too much.", I said and began to walk toward the dinner on West 3rd Street.  "How much you got?", he asked.  "Three."  "Three it is", he responded.  So for three dollars I finally got the book I've been wanting to read for thirty years.   Maybe even forty.

While waiting for my food at the dinner, I skipped the preface and first chapter, and people pleaser that I am, I went straight for the second chapter Six Ways to Make People Like You:  "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people in you."  Oh, my God.  I'm in trouble here.  Many times I behave like a genuine diva and forget to ask people how they're doing, or there names or what do they work in.  I find myself auto-scolding you forgot to ask, say, do.  And feeling lousy about it.  I come from a highly dysfunctional family; auto-chastising is encouraged.  :)  I've tried this bad habit but, I'm to much of a diva.  How could the advice of a book that was first written over sixty years ago, help me now.

Then Carnegie continues: "I spent an evening in the dressing room of Howard Thurston the last time he appeared on Broadway-Thurston was the acknowledged dean of magicians.  ... But in addition to that, Thurston had a genuine interest in people.  He told me that many magicians would look at the audience and say the to themselves, "Well, there is a bunch of suckers out there, a bunch of hicks; I'll fool them all right."  But Thurston 's method was totally different.  He told me that every time he went on stage he said to himself; "I am grateful because these people come to see me  They make it possible for me to make my living in a very agreeable way, I'm going to give them the very best I possibly can." 

And you know something, the Subway Diva actually likes to put her best notes forward for you.  She enjoys singing for people and enjoys listening to their comments about her singing and songs.  I didn't know it, but I actually like people, especially subway people very much.  I enjoy writing the songs and singing them for you. After I read that paragraph I had a nice glow feeling on my belly button.  (You didn't know?  Divas have belly buttons, too?  I'm an inny!! :))


So my prayer is: "I'm grateful because these people in the subway, who are here on there way to another place, stop and see me.  Listen to my voice.  They make it possible for me to believe in myself, in my musical abilities, and to earn some money.  I'm going to give them the very best I can."